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It is terrible that today’s news has put fatherhood into a bad light… But things like that happen, and we have to pick up the pieces and go on.. However, through the reflection one can see that fatherhood is an important part of our being, and that those who lack one, for whatever reason, have a tough time making up their loss.

Of course when I was young, I never really believed it. But over time when I compare different people, those daughters who had great relationships with their fathers, tend today to be better balanced and probably will do well in later life…

As I think about it, how women are accepted by men is the one area where having a father while growing up, matters… If women have a father who accepts them as they are, they become self sufficient and rather independent. Once on our own, they tend to look for someone who accepts them as they are, and if not… good bye. If they have a father who sets extraordinary high standards, and they don’t meet them, and they feel they have lost his love because of their failures, they are then in a constant search of approval to fill that need which lies vacant inside of them..

Thereby they become succeptable to capricious whims of their mates and employers… But the best results come from those fathers who show their daughters a father’s love, meanwhile demanding high standards totally independent of their affection,….Out there it is, not so much a man’s world, anymore, but it is still the real world, and every girl going out on their own, needs to be prepared to deal with hard knocks… Dad’s tend to deal with those more gracefully.

A girl who has no father is like a leaf in the wind. When the first guy asks her out, she has no template to compare him to… Even if he is dangerous, she simply does not know… These kids go through a series of hard knocks.. Whereas a single mother can advise, she can never convince a daughter who knows better.. To her, the dad is the ultimate approval giver… Those girls without dads, are always one half of the wild ones.

The other half, are those who had a father they desparately want to please, but who ignores them… They are wild and crazy to receive anyone’s attention, to get noticed. They are simply saying through their actions, “here is some of the pain back at you for what you gave me…”

Over the years, the best thing a father and daughter can do is talk… Father’s say a lot of hokey things, and usually insist on a higher moral standard for females than they do guys, and talking about sex to them is still too weird… But there is nothing like a Dad listening in on a woman’s problem, and saying, “don’t worry, we will all work it out… it’s just a bump in the road… Together we will help you get through it….”

A year ago most of us had given up on Britney Spears.. But here on her twenty-seventh birthday, (today) she is back and again, a force to be reckoned with… What happened to stop the spiral?

A Different Britney Spears
Photo Courtesy of I.D.Com.

Her dad stepped back into her life…

And that… has made all the difference.

So those dads among you with daughters, keep talking to them. Remember they are not your little innocent girls anymore… They are adults, struggling to put pieces together, just as you struggled to figure things out when you were young… And you had it much easier than they do… you were dating women!… They have to deal with men… You know how complex you are yourself; you can imagine all the crap they will have to go through to find someone who will make them happy for life….

So bear with them.. Don’t hold their hands… Don’t patronize them…Don’t give them unnecessary criticism… They are learning as they go… Just a little love is all they need…along with an undiscerning ear once in awhile.. Just that and the confidence of knowing that if you support them, they should after several tries, be able to conqueror anything…

Provide them words of wisdom, but let them learn from their own mistakes…

Happy Birthday, Britney.