I just read another of Earl Jacques  (lobbyist extrordinaire for charter schools) comments given free to the News Journal and it hit me:  that is exactly what drug dealers say when trying to hook you onto heroin…

Exactly.

Word for Word.

Universally.

Paraphrased it was something like… don’t listen to mom and dad… Live a little.  Just take the test…

As would a heroin drug seller (we used to call them pushers for good reason), little concern for the well being of children is expressed… It is only about the sale…  When can you give me the money?

But it drives home the danger of allowing your child to try the Smarter Balanced Assessment just one time, as hopefully you would educate your children never to try heroin, not even one time…. Because once they got you…. they got you.

If your child takes the Smarter Balanced assessment and passes, essentially he just wasted 2 or 3 days filled with headaches.  Congratulations upon your parenting or his Lucky Charms you fed him that morning. (Yellow Moons). Just like if your child tried heroin and decided, no thanks, never again and righteously kept his own word.

But only three out of every ten will pass this test.  The rest will fail… Seven out of ten that is, who will fail this test… Not because they are dumb, but because they happened to guess “b” compared to what the test-makers thought was best when they originally chose the best answer out of 4 correct answers to be:  “d”… Who, determined it was the “best” answer when professional adults can’t even agree?

Those who fail, will have “FAILURE” permanently etched on their record….  Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever…..

Yet they would never be failures if the test did not exist.  Instead they would have been outstanding students, since they are more than capable of doing everything the teacher asks of them and more…

All because they literally got a wrong answer when “guessing the number of jelly beans in a jar”… (dont’ believe me? You must be the last person besides Earl Jacques to have not taken the test).  Finding the right answer is literally a guessing game with answers determined randomly or some existential thought process, and not by rules determined by scientific law or by facts.

Here is an example.. the statement is:  “If I say I pee’d in a bucket;”…   now remember, your entire future depends on getting this right, now cue the music……. (kettle drums)  Which of those words is the most important?

Some will say “I”.  Some will say “if”. Some will say “say”. Some will say “Pee’d”. Some will say “in”. Some will say “bucket”…  But 5 of those 6 will be wrong….  Which is it, adults?  To play: leave your answer and explanation below in the comments and let’s see who wins… (for fun)_.  But this won’t be fun to the child who gets left behind because his random guess did not fall whatever way the test-maker thought!

In fact, this is nothing less than a screening test to weed out or allow in, those who think alike in a very narrow spectrum.

But for 70% of students…. that failure will never be erased, barring some miracle legislation to come out of this General Assembly… With Schwartzkoph, miracles are unlikely. It will not be allowed on the floor in the House, because if it did, it would be overwhelmingly and rapidly passed…

There is a 7 out of 10 chance your child will be rated a failure…. and have to settle for a minimum wage job across the span of his life, simply because this test of randomness called him out as such…. It reminds me of the taunts I used to get when the spinner would only stop on the ones and twos when I played Chute’s and Ladders while others spun 5’s and 6’s)…

There is only a 4 out of 10 chance your child will become a heroin addict after one try… thus ironically making the Smarter Balanced test worse for your child than heroin…

You are the parent.  There are evil people in this world… Some are “pushers” in and around your school… Some are “pushers” in legislative hall… Still… You are the parent….

You need to treat both as equally dangerous… For they are… And the only way to protect your child, the only way to guarantee he/she won’t be one of the four addicts, or one of the seven failures. is to make sure they never try the poison once…. That as every parent knows, IS THE ONLY WAY TO GUARANTEE YOUR CHILD WILL HAVE A LONG AND PRODUCTIVE FUTURE…  NEVER TRY HEROIN.  NEVER TAKE THE SMARTER BALANCED ASSESSMENT.

Both are evil.  Both use children to economically benefit the sellers…..

Don’t let your child take the test and get on the horn and tell your legislator to vote to not allow any child’s Smarter Balanced Score to ever be put anywhere near their permanent record....whether or not they got tricked into taking the test.

Please tell your school your child has opted out.  And don’t let him near school on test days.

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