Yesterday, Lamont Brown, designated puppet heading up East Side Charter School was put on display for all of Delaware..  The officials pulled no stops in bragging upon his accomplishments…..

Lamont Brown can divide by zero; Lamont Brown doesn’t climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them;  Lamont Brown can kill two stones with one bird; Lamont Brown ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one; Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no reaction after a Lamont Brown’s roundhouse kick; Lamont Brown counted to infinity – three times; Lamont Brown can slam a revolving door; Lamont Brown is suing My-Space for taking the name of what he calls everything around you; there is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Lamont Brown has allowed to live; Lamont Brown didn’t actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear; Lamont Brown is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head; Lamont Brown sleeps with a night light. Not because Lamont Brown is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Lamont Brown; Lamont Brown once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now “The Islands”; Lamont Brown  doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants; If you have five dollars and Lamont Brown has five dollars, Lamont Brown has more money than you; If you Google search “Lamont Brown getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. Go ahead, try it; Lamont Brown doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is;  For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Lamont Brown, each testicle is larger than the other one; When Lamont Brown does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down; ok…. one more….. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Lamont Brown.

Such were the praises thrown around the guilded hall yesterday…..

But, in that class of his so remarkably hailed…. 33 of the original 62…. were kicked out…  Meaning, that those who would pull down the scores were eradicated and only those who would excel were allowed to continue… You know, its what Dave Sokola calls: the Shanghai experiment…. where you only test your brightest then parade those results.

Well for S & G’s, I wondered how it would work to do the same policy to all  6 priority schools. What would it do to their scores?  It’s not hard; anyone other than a News Journal editor could figure it out in seconds.  What I did was basically factor out the bottom 53% of their student body, made them just disappear, and then apply the number who scored proficient, just to see what the proficiency percentages of these “improved” schools would be….   Only then, would we have an accurate comparison Between East Side Charter and the 6 Priority Schools?

The good folks at Delaware DOE provided the data.

Bancroft Elementary  Originally at 401 students; with Draconian cuts now reduced to 188. (rounded all fractions downward; you can’t really have 0.7 of a person)  But we are concerned with only grades 3-5 who take the test… That would  be 177 students, and after cuts, (representing the 47% of those left at East Side)….. the number still left in those three grades would total 81.  So when you apply the actual number who scored proficient, (46) to those actually left (81), Bancroft would have scored a proficiency rate of 55.4.

The other five will be calculated according to the same formula.

Bayard Middle School  Originally at 463; now cut down by East Side Charter standards to 217.  117 originally scored proficient and would represent 54% of the remaining 217…. So Bayard would rest at the 54% proficiency level, if it were somehow allowed to follow the East Side Charter annihilation policy.

Stubbs Elementary  Originally grades 3-5 at stood at 156, now down to 73 students.  Those proficient (52) would turn in a 71.2% rate of proficiency, enough to pass the 70% bar set by No Child Left Behind.

Highlands Elementary  Originally grades 3-5 had 192 children but would be now cut down to 90.  Those original 65 proficient would now create a proficiency score of 72%… Again passing the super high bar set by No Child Left Behind.  A bar so high, every state is crying for a waiver because it is allegedly unobtainable!

Shortlidge Elementary  In 2014 grades 3-5 mustered at 163 students would be decimated down to 76 and those original 63 who were proficient, would then give Shortlidge a proficiency rating of 82.9%,,,,  Pretty darn good.

Warner Elementary   Again, 249 students in 2014;  cut down to 117, Those who were proficient (74) would give Warner it’s new and improve proficiency rate of 63.2%…. (A lot of that lowness has to do with the yet unexplained anomaly found in Grade 4’s math test; (20 mysterious unexplained missing percentage points) !!!!  )

So against these new and improved results, how does the fearsome Lamont Brown compare?

His proficiency in the elementary grades stacks up to…. (drumroll please)….. (bring on the accolades)….. (did anyone remember the bouquet of roses)…… (how about a fanfare from the house band?)  ……………

The great and wonderful Lamont Brown’s proficiency rating for the year 2014,  first in elementary grades…. and second in middle school grades……

IS…..

A…..

Whooping……..

72.5 %   and … a 46.5%

Equal to Stubbs, Equal to Highlands. Below that of Shortlidge.  Below that of Bayard.  Just a few point ahead of Warner….  Yet those priority schools did nothing different from the low scores they allegedly earned… In fact those are exactly the very same low scores they earned, just minus the dead weight kicked off in the exact same way as Lamont Brown is known for.

Meaning that the real star… the real person “the Boogeyman should be checking his closet for”….. is  none other than the fearsome, the stupendous, the omnipotent, the amazing, the superlative, the one who all others must tremble in her shadow…. yes….. “her”……  :  Maribeth Courtney. principal of Shortlidge.  But wait!  Isn’t that a priority school???

Now doesn’t that just throw a big juicy turd into the big pot of stew cooked up at the Riverfront yesterday?  Doesn’t it seem odd that so much hoopla was put upon one man, whose net result to society was that last year, 2014, , he graduated 10 proficient scholars out of his clutches to go on into the real world of 9th grade…. a number far inferior to those graduating with proficiency out of any of those schools the DOE was trying to close and turn into charters?….. His grand total requiring such accolades was Just 10 proficient students out of Delaware’s total of 133,369….