Arne Duncun just issued a presser to all major American publications in his Friday news dump, decrying how far we were behind North Korea in guitar playing.

“They embarrass us they are so good” said Duncun…  $450 million of DOE funds are being alloted to  unbid corporate contracts to immediately develop mandatory guitar playing instruction… “We got this!” said Duncun.  “Music teachers need not apply. Apparently they aren’t doing a good enough job, anyways”…  “Suburban moms might think their sons and daughters are musical geniuses, but when the world’s poorest country can blow us away, they obviously are wrong. …”   “Our corporate experts will create a curriculum to solve this national emergency……  Kids will have to practice more”, finished Duncun… “This 3 hour a day practice is for pussies….  We’re looking at 10 hours on weekends and 6 hours week nights… ”

What we lack is rigor…..