The Republican Debate.

Who frames it?

The team giving the moderator questions.

First the rules:

The candidates will make no opening statements and will have just a minute to answer.

Translated: Control the Message!!!!!!!!

So, lets look at what questions were given?

To Perry: You have touted your state’s low taxes, the lack of regulation, tough tort reform as the recipe for job growth in the Lone Star State Is that the kind of answer all Americans are looking for?

Perry: Duh..yes…

To Governor Romney: Massachusetts ranked only 47th in job creation during your tenure as governor. Your private-sector experience consisted of being “a buyout specialist.” Your response to that?

Romney: Duh,.. I will say that is not true.

Is it a disqualification to be in government all your career?

Romney: Duh… no.

To Santorium and Cain: Weigh in on what you’re hearing (ph).

Santorium: Duh, I’m great. i’ve done………”things”.
Cain: Duh, I’m greater..

Cain: Forget doing 69… Instead, go 999….

To Huntsman: Pick apart Romney’s plan…..

Huntsman: I’m the number one Job Creator…. I did it in 6 days and rested on the 7th…

To Bachmann: Which federal regulations have been most detrimental to your business?

Bachmann: Duh… Obamacare….

Harris: TIME!!

To Paul: What is not in the Constitution?

Paul: Federal Regulations; Let the Free Market decide their own rules. Let Rapists define rape, Let Murderers define what is murder, Let pornographers define what is pornography. Let child molesters define what is molestation. The free market can police themselves…. Regulations are stupid.

To Gingrich: You wrote Perry’s forward to his book?.

Gingrich: Yeah and I’ll write the next one too….. (And the fact that Obama didn’t do his homework here in the Reagan Library is proof he is not serious about jobs..)

To all: What I’d first like to do is ask if anyone else on this stage agrees that the Massachusetts example was a great opportunity for the rest of the country..

All: Duh….. No… (Hint to uninformed viewers: Massachusetts is a Democratic state and this is a Republican Presidential Debate.)

To Romney: Defend your role….

Romney: On day one, I will do the opposite of what i did in Massachusetts and order the annulment of Obamacare and the joyous return to insurers taking all your money and dropping you off their roles, at the first sign of you being sick.

To Perry: will you praise or trash you biggest opponents record on health care?

Perry: Duh…. trash him of course. I’m running against him you know… Oh? You didn’t know that? Oh My, Surprise, Surprise!

To Perry: Why are so many Texans under insured?

Perry: Duh, under my policy of offering very low wages with no benefits, Texas people can’t afford insurance… Duh,, what a dumb question….

Bachmann tires to interject: “John? John?”


(Moderators look at script, look at each other, shake their heads side to side, and move on with the next scripted question.)

To Governor Huntsman: Since you are so important, even though you lost to Bachmann in the Iowa Straw Poll where she got 28.5% of the vote and you got… 0.42% of the vote, us moderators will diss her and go to you instead… Obviously she doesn’t warner any respect and certainly, no one cares what she thinks, for her horrible performance in Iowa… Who fuckin’ cares about Iowa anyway? Ha, ha….

Huntsman: Duh…. no one?

To Congresswoman Bachmann, let’s turn to you. Is Governor Romney’s support of an individual mandate…

Harris: TIME!

HARRIS: To Governor Huntsman, everybody would like $2 gas, but is it realistic for a president to promise that?

Huntsman: Duh….. no…..

To Paul: Would getting rid of minimum wage like Texas did, create more jobs?

Paul: Absolutely, and what’s good, is that those working below minimum wage are too poor to quit, so essentially the corporations have their own slave labor… Legalized slavery, and it’s not just about black people anymore… See how far the South has come?

(The debate is interrupted for 5 minutes by the now obligatory discussion of the rules of debate…)

Five minutes later:

To Perry: I saw you nod your head; were you really nodding your head?

Perry: Why, yes I was….. Thank you so much for noticing…

To Perry: You are so welcome… It was a sort a cute little nod too… btw… (laughter)…. And that is a nice outfit .. looks really good on you too… You look quite handsome today…

Perry: Why thank you Brian. You look handsome today too…. (wink, wink…)

Paul: Oh, I need an answer to that….

To Paul: you have 30 seconds….

Paul: The eighties weren’t all that… We had AIDS, a famine in Ethiopia, and were forced to listen to this…. Ronald Reagan had good ideas, but the eighties still weren’t all that…

To Paul: Funny thing about mail: Mail is forever…

To all: we are going to take a break, mostly to screen the data in order to keep anything worthy of debate, from finding a way to come up here and enter the discussion… ….

Overheard off camera: Williams to hot female assistant: I have to pee, can you help me….

(End of transcript: This viewer never returned.)