Ring*** Ring***
Hello?

(Oh Hi! Is this Senator Greg Lavelle’s office?)

Why, yes… why yes it is… It is Senator Greg Lavelle’s office…

(Great, for a second with all the dogs howling, I thought I’d gotten a wrong number. Anyways, can I speak to him?)

Well, he’s on the floor right now, giving a speech (they always say that even when they know he is in the bathroom), could I take a message for you?

(Sure, if that is easier, no problem. Do you need my name?)

Why yes, that would be so helpful… And if you could leave a return number, perhaps he might give you the opportunity to speak with him directly…

(Why yes! I’d like that… Ok, you ready? Got a pen?)

Why yes… I do… I actually got a Penn State…

(Huh?)

Oh yes, it’s a pen with the Nittany Lion engraved on it.. That’s why instead of a pen, I said Penn State..

(OK, if you are ready… My name is Ima Gregs-Wurstknightmare.. I hyphenated it when I got married. I thought it was great back then, you know, liberating, but it gets tiring now. Wish I simplified it..)

Oh i love that name… It is sooo forceful… I like it a lot… Ok what do you wish to tell him…

(Tell the new Senator from the fourth district, that if he doesn’t vote to kill HB 165, I’ve got his whole district up here ready to recall him and vote Katz back in… )

Oh, I so hate that bill too. It’s a complete bunch of garbage. Who ever made it up needs to spend some time in an unlicensed, uninspected, and uncertified IRF outside Middletown after his constituents get their hands on him… What a complete waste of time HB 165 is… I’m sure Greg will tell his friend Charlie to shove it, and you certainly don’t have to worry about him being in support of HB 165.. you see, I bought Greg a new collar. He used to have a choker collar, and boy, would his throat hurt when Charlie yanked on it.. But now, it is just leather and exerts a gentle tug… I’m sure Greg won’t care about Charlie now; he’ll be glad to vote his conscience against that piece of garbage… He loves being a Senator so much; he thinks he’s the pope, you know…

(ok, so you are sure Greg will get the message? I don’t have to say it is segregationist? It is unfair to existing charters who have to compete against new ones now who unlike them, get capital funding? I don’t have to say that those students in rural schools will suffer twice as much? I don’t have to say this bill will make Wilmington’s school options separate and very unequal? I won’t have to say that this bill lowers all Delaware students test scores over the next 8 years?)

No, I got that… you already said what we needed to hear…

(And what was that?)

That if Greg Lavelle even thinks of voting in favor of HB 165, then next year he is going to be pummeled with that vote all the way up until Election Day. He is going to be known as the new KKK Grand Dragon, the Puppy Mill owner who sold Mike Vick his dogs, the Grinch who stole Christmas, the Peter Pettigrew who sold Delaware downriver, and that guy, what’s his name, right on the tip of my tongue… use to live on Elm Street, was in the movies a long time ago… Oh gosh, can’t remember him...

(Wow, you hear very well)

Oh we’re used to it. Seems like no one is happy with his votes anymore… Thank you for calling. We’ll be sure to tell him you called to tell him to vote against HB 165…

(Well, thank you for listening so closely.  Look forward to the final result… Good bye! ((click))(click)(click)(click)(click)…

For those in other districts, this is for you… Find your Senator here

And then once you know his name, go here, and click on his email and you will be directed to his website which has the phone number. If you want to use the email instead,  go ahead…

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